“I’m Talking to Dead People”
Recently, I’ve spent a lot of time talking to my grandparents, as I often do during difficult times. The fact that they are deceased is of no consequence. I speak to a God I believe in often as well, but sometimes, a face I recognize, a laugh I remember and words of wisdom I know passed from generation to generation helps to make it through these especially strange times.
As a believer in Heaven, I imagine my grandparents are there; watching over me, keeping me safe and waiting patiently for me, for when my time comes. They will greet me with a margarita sitting on the bar and a seat with my name on it right next to any of my loved ones who happened to arrive before me. In my heaven, raw cookie dough, devil’s food cake, buttercream frosting, cheese doodles, bread, butter and pizza will do for me what broccoli, kale, salmon, nuts, seeds and blueberries accomplish on Earth. My daily view will include white sand beaches, Anguilla blue waters, palm trees, a beach chair with a stack of “best beach reads” books next to it. In my heaven, I’ll be able to drink caffeine again without suffering another hot flash or palpitation and I will be returning to my 25 year-old body and mind, with the ability to retain all of my life experience. Platform and regular tennis courts will be abundant, with players at the ready to take me on. Mosquitos, snakes, ticks and sunburn won’t exist. Assuming they are all there (and they are in my version of heaven), Freddie Mercury and Elvis will be onstage singing for me, and Babe Ruth will be hitting one out of the park. I will invite Thomas Jefferson, Frederick Douglas, Harriet Tubman and Abraham Lincoln for dinner at my place together. Marilyn Monroe and Amelia Earhart will come for cocktails and tell us what really happened and for dessert, Moses and Mary Magdalene will share what it was like to be called by God. And, in my version, Jesus will be there, finally making clear all of the mysteries of the universe.
Heaven will no doubt be…heavenly; full of peace, cookie dough, alcohol, interesting people and all of the answers, yet I’m in no particular hurry to get there. For now, I’m content to look skyward on my afternoon walks on my property, and have a little calming, albeit one sided conversation with Nana, Pop-pop, Grandma and Papa. They keep me grounded and help me to gain perspective. They lived through two world wars, polio, and the depression. Grandma raised kids alone while her husband was serving in WWII, Nana and Papa both fought courageous battles with cancer and lost, dying too young. My grandmothers both worked and were independent women at a time where that was rare and Papa was an immigrant who came through Ellis Island from Scotland. They were all independent, strong, smart, loving, and fun; each with unique characteristics that keep them alive in my heart even today. As a grandmother myself, I remember my time with each of them and try to be the grandparent to my granddaughter that each of them was to me.
As life here on earth takes a steep nose dive into the unknown brought about by this pandemic, we are all desperate to find answers, direction and solace, and, frankly, are all coming up a bit short as we depend on mere mortals to fix it all. Is it really any wonder I’ve been talking to my dead grandparents? It’s times like these that I think God could use a little back up army; that population of heavenly angels that we all know and love to look out for us, to help us remember who we are and where we came from. Nana instilled in me the mantra to never, EVER lose my sense of humor, Grandma taught me to take shit from no one. Papa reminds me that every day holds an opportunity for some fun, music and mischief, and Pop-pop treasured the soul refreshing value of a daily walk, cocktail and conversation with loved ones.
“So, here’s to you, Nana, Pop-pop, Grandma and Papa, thank you for your life lessons of humor, strength in adversity, the value of cocktails and conversations with friends, and a good long walk. With your help, I will get through this! One last thing, could you do me a favor and tell God that as much as I can’t wait to meet him, although things are really rough down here right now, I’d like to stick around a bit longer. I’ve got things to do, places to go, people to finally see.
I miss you guys so much!
All my love, and if you don’t remember, I prefer salt with my margarita,”
Leslie